


Forgiveness is Yours, and Yours Alone

by putyournamehere



Category: DC Extended Universe, Red Robin (Comics), Young Justice (Comics)
Genre: Brainwashing, Canon-Typical Violence, Family Bonding, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, clark wants to do better, kon has a whole bucket of issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 14:35:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16431281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/putyournamehere/pseuds/putyournamehere
Summary: "We both need to talk about it Tim.", Kon said looking back to Tim, "you could've died""You've already died yourself, so I would call it even." Tim said."Except you're not the one who killed me. I'm the one who tried to kill you."





	Forgiveness is Yours, and Yours Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Kez, don't you have another ongoing story? Yes I do, but I desperately needed to write this angst that was in the making. I've been writing so much fluff lately that I was getting cavities, so here's here's some angsty bonding! Enjoy!

Tim didn't know what exactly had gone wrong on this mission. One minute he was disarming the lock down on the prisoners, who were being held for meta-human trafficking, and the next minute he had been thrown against the very console he was using. He blinked up at what had thrown him and found-

Superboy? 

His eyes were glowing red, and when Red Robin chanced a look around the room, he could spot a genomorph with matching red eyes hiding behind a pillar. It looked mutated and  _wrong_ , but that didn't matter. Red Robin could make a good guess that it was this genemorph forcing its way into Superboy's mind. 

Wonder Girl flew to them, grabbing onto Superboy's arms and attempting to restrain him, shouting  _stop! Stop Kon this isn't you-_ but he flew towards the ceiling, forcing her body to collide and let him go. 

Impulse and Red Robin shared a look; right now Superboy wouldn't be using any of the strategy he had learnt over the last few years, relying completely on impulse and aggression. They had to use this to their advantage. 

Impulse set about trying to get Superboy's attention, running him in circles and darting in between the rubble littered around the room. Meanwhile Red Robin motioned for Wonder Girl to help him in destroying the genomorphe that was sending out the telepathic signal. The genomorphe was fast - it lept around the room. When they finally caught it, Wonder Girl held it down while Red Robin took out a batarang to sever the connection.

Only before he could do that, he felt a fist of steel collide with his face which sent him flying back into the wall. 

Superboy stood over him, eyes glowing and a formless expression on his face. He wasn't even angry, it wasn't an command based on emotion; it was complete mind control. Superboy surged forward, his hands wrapping around Red Robin's neck and pressing in.

In the background he could hear Wonder Girl and Impulse frantically trying to disable the connection, but all he could focus on was the fact that Superboy wasn't breaking his neck like he could've easily done; he was holding himself back. There was still a piece of him in there trying to stop, and that hurt all the more, knowing he was trying to do the impossible. 

"Kon," Red Robin choked out, scrambling at the hands around his neck, "it's okay. This isn't- this isn't your fault."

Suddenly the hands dropped, and Red Robin collapsed to the floor, choking and gasping for breath. Wonder Girl and Impulse must have cut of the connection, either by cutting the antennae or straight up killing it. Superboy- Kon, his Kon, stumbled back and looked at Tim aghast.

"Superboy are you... are you alright?" Cassie asked.

He started shaking, blinking fast. "I have to go." He said quietly, "I have to- I'm  _sorry_." And before anyone could challenge him he flew straight through the ceiling and was gone.

Bart went straight to Tim's side, helping him to his feet. "Red, are you okay? I mean obviously not but-," he drew a breath, "he'll come back, Rob. He always does."

Tim looked up at the ceiling where Kon had broken through. He had no time to think, before the rest of the Titans came through the door. They were asking questions, telling them that members of the Justice League were waiting outside to help, but Tim wasn't listening.

He didn't blame Kon. He only hoped Kon wouldn't blame himself. 

 

* * *

 

Kon stared blankly at the chicken coop. He'd finished feeding them about an hour ago, but he stayed in place, unwilling to go back to the Kent's house. Ma and Pa had welcomed him here with open arms, even as Kon avoided every worried question sent his way.

Suddenly Kon tensed, hearing a voice that belonged to neither Ma and Pa but had the same Kansas drawl.  _Clark_.

It wasn't unusual for Clark to visit Kon at the farm; he did so regularly, sometimes with Lois and Jon, sometimes with Kara. But he'd been doing it a lot more since Kon had died and come back. It didn't take a genius to know that Clark cared, otherwise why would he be visiting so often? 

But things were different. Kon wasn't the person he was before Superboy Prime. He'd hate to admit it, but he could see why Jason Todd was so angry after coming back; Kon felt the same at first, full of anger and confusion and  _hurt_  seeing how almost everyone had moved on with their lives. He had wanted to punch and scream and yell  _this isn't fair, why do you get to move on_?

Clark had Jon now, the new Superboy. And don't get him wrong, Kon loved Jon like the little brother he was. But it still hurt, you know, seeing the world move on around you while you're still caught up in the past. And that put a rift between him and Clark - it was something that Clark would never understand, although it wasn't like Kon gave him the chance.

But Kon was open and raw now. Clark must of known what had happened on the botched mission and how Kon ran from it, unable to look at what he had done. He couldn't bear to look at his reflection in the mirror, let alone Clark.

Eventually, Clark walked out to the coop where Kon was. 

"Clark." Kon nodded.

"Kon. How are you holding up?"

"I'm good."

"Good."

There was an uneasy pause. Kon stared resolutely at the ground. 

"I know it's hard, Kon," Clark began, "I don't know exactly how those genomorphes work with you, how it feels. But I know what it's like to hurt someone you care about. There was nothing more you could have done."

Kon gritted his teeth, "I could've done plenty Clark. I should've of- I should've been stronger." Kon turned around to face Clark, "and this isn't just like hurting a friend."

"I know, he's your closest friend and I get tha-"

"He's  _more_  than just a friend!" 

Clark blinked, snapping his mouth shut. Silence spread out between them, and Kon began getting more and more agitated with every passing moment. 

"You know, when Ma and Pa said you were dating someone again, I never expected it to be Tim Drake." Clark laughed, but it was weak. The reaction Kon had to Tim's injuries seemed somehow most justified with this new information. 

Kon turned around to face Clark. "It doesn't really matter now."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Clark asked softly, but with an edge that made him sound hurt. 

"I didn't think you'd care." Kon muttered, looking away. God he did not want to have this conversation, not when Clark sounded  genuinely hurt where he had no right to be. "It's not like I'm your son, I'm just your clone." He looked back to Clark to see his face drop. 

"Kon-" Clark made a motion to move closer than stopped, seemingly unsure of what to do. "I never- I never wanted you to feel like this. Like you weren't my son. I know I reacted badly when we first found you, but I thought we'd moved past it."

"We have!" Kon exclaimed. "We have. But I  _died_  Clark, and nothing is the same anymore. You have Jon now, and I'm... I don't have a place here." 

This time Clark did move over. Kon tensed up, but all Clark did was pull him into a tight hug. 

"You'll always have a place here Kon. You're Ma and Pa's boy. You're my son. And I'm sorry that you seem to have felt like this for so long, and that I didn't do anything to help." Clark pulled away, leaving his hands resting on Kon's shoulders. "You're my son," he repeated, "and I love you. I'll do better from now on."

Kon didn't really cry, pre-death or post-death. It wasn't his style, really. Yet he could feel his eyes burn, and his throat clench in a way that made it hard to swallow.

Clark continued gently, "You know Tim doesn't blame you for what happened, and I know this is bigger than that. But we're all here to support you in whatever way we can."

Kon tried to blink away the tears, to no avail. "Thank you, Clark."

Clark smiled, wrapping an arm around Kon's shoulder as he began to walk back to the house. "Let's get you cleaned up. Ma and Pa are going to need help making dinner."

Kon took a deep breath as they walked. For now, things seemed a little brighter. 

 

* * *

 

Three weeks had passed, and Kon had yet to visit Tim. He could easily put it down to the fact that he knew from Cassie and Bart that Tim was at the manor right now, and Batman wasn't exactly Kon's biggest fan. But it was nothing to do with that; Kon still didn't want to face up to what he had done. Maybe Clark was right, maybe there was nothing he could've done to prevent it, but that didn't make facing the love of his life bandaged and bruised any easier. 

He waited out of sight near the manor, as close as he could get to Tim's bedroom. He listened close the movement of the rest of the family, waiting for Dick who was fussing over Tim to leave the room. Eventually, Tim asked to sleep in peace, and was left alone.

Kon kept listening, waiting, doing anything but going to the window until-

"You can come up Kon." Tim said quietly, "I know you can hear me."

Kon glanced around then quickly flew to the open window and slipped in.

"How did you know I was out there?" Kon asked.

Tim shrugged, "call it a sixth sense. Also Cassie told me you were on your way; I figured you'd be waiting outside."

Kon pouted. "Cassie's a snitch." He took a good look at Tim - more specifically, he looked at the large black bruises that circled his neck. Then he looked away, feeling ill. 

"Well it's a good thing she'd told me, because I don't think you'd ever have come up here if I hadn't said anything." Tim said. Kon couldn't really argue that point. Tim sighed, moving to sit up against the pillows, "there's no point beating around the bush if you need to talk about what happened."

"We both need to talk about it Tim," Kon said looking back to Tim, "you could've died"

"You've already died yourself, so I would call it even." 

"Except you're not the one who killed me.  _I'm_ the one who tried to kill you. Me."

Tim looked at him steadily. "Kon, you had no control over the situation."

"If I had been stronger-"

"Bullshit. Strength has nothing to do with mind control." Tim said sharply. "Strength has nothing to do with your biology connecting to the genomorphes. You tried your best, and I've forgiven you. The only person who needs to forgive you now is yourself."

Kon looked down at his hands. He wondered if Bruce and the rest of Tim's family forgave him.  _If he was stronger._ Strength wouldn't have helped. Tim was right, he couldn't control his only biology - the way he was created, the connection he had with the genomorphes. But that didn't change the fact that he could've killed Tim. He could've killed the one person he loved more than anyone else and he couldn't forgive himself for that. Not yet. Maybe never. 

Kon must of been lost in his thoughts for a while, and Tim pushed down the duvet on the bed. "I'm alive, Kon. And I'm here right now." He said, gesturing to the space besides him. 

Kon glanced towards the door. "Would your family appreciate it if they found me in your bed?"

"Probably not," Tim admitted, "but do you care? Because I don't."

Kon huffed a tired laugh and slipped under the duvet. Tim settled down shortly after, pulling Kon's head gently onto his chest. "I'm not going anywhere soon, Kon." 

"I know," Kon said, "I know. It's just- I remember. I remember everything that happened while I was brainwashed, like I was watching through a screen that had no controls." He breathed deeply as Tim stroked the shaved sides of Kon's head. "I love you Tim. But I'm scared this is going to happen again, and we won't stop it in time."

Tim hummed, thinking over his next words. "There are options, Kon. We still have the body of the mutated genomorph to examine; once we've actually studied in and found out where it came from, we can take precautions. Make adjustments."

"That doesn't mean it definitely won't happen again." Kon said.

"And I can't give you a definite." Tim replied, "but in our line of business there's no such thing as definite. All we can do is do our best, right?" He kissed the top of Kon's head, "I know you're doing your best. All that I ask is that you take the time to forgive yourself."

Kon smiled, a small smile into Tim's chest. "I'll try."

"Thank you." Tim said, leaning back into the pillows. "Now get some sleep. I'll fight Bruce if he tries to throw you out."

Kon laughed, "as if you could fight him in your condition."

"Fine, I'll let him give you a kryptonite sucker punch then. Good luck."

They bickered back and forth until Kon drifted off to sleep, slightly more at peace with who he was. 

 


End file.
